smmidge: The Lost Summer & My (Constant) Search

HELLO Folks! Wow I've missed you. . . . well if you are still indeed out there dear readers (or were you a figment of my imagination?) I'm back! I've missed blogging over the past few months. I've been away, completely upending my life and that of my family's all the while still chasing the same dreams I've been after for years: living with purpose, creating things, questioning things (what are we doing? another baby? risk and reward? how to do better, be better? etc) and still fighting to become an entrepreneur, to design my life, and enjoy it all along with others. . . But before all that, there was the Lost Summer of 2012.

. . . or perhaps more fitting "The Summer of Loss". We moved from our very first, and quite beloved, home in Lake Highlands to a new (old) home in North Oak Cliff (a dream of ours - so that was a good thing). But moving is no joke. It tested us like nothing else. Moving every worldly possession in your life is serious and leaving a place where you built your family is emotional. Living for a month with no home (bad timing) is also no joke. We are good like that. No. Home. For. A. Month. Bad news. The loss of moving from our first home rocked us all to our core. . . it was saying good bye to a happy and fruitful part of our lives which can be a little sad. And being vagabonds was not all it seemed to be cracked up to be when we were younger and fancied ourselves Bohemian. Oh well. . . But settling into a new home and neighborhood is feeling better and better everyday. It's definitely the right place for us. But then, I quit my job. Yep. Right after we moved(ish) into our new home, I -quit- my- job. You heard me. Again - I quit my job. Genius move on my part. Sarcasm intentional - atleast in terms of timing. But when you gotta go you gotta go. . . but I did experience some feelings of loss once again. And after that I promptly totaled my car. Another loss. By this point we were the most frazzled, strung out messes you have ever seen. . . desperate to keep it together for Doss and for us all. . . and failing miserably everyday. Oh the tears. But luckily there were some over-the-top supportive friends - even through our constant angst - that helped us survive. And other than that it was just stubborn will that got us through it. Not beautifully or gracefully oh no, and some things suffered more than others (from relationships to bad hair), but down and dirty survival prevailed. Now through all of this loss and angst, we are now emerging on the other side. My horoscope says that today Saturn leaves one of my houses (?) after being there for 3 years bringing test after test after test. . . today is new and brings new opportunities. The new moon is supposed to reset all things. Isn't that nice? There is hope even after the Lost Summer of 2012. Bye-bye Saturn. . . Now time to reflect and move forward.

All of us, still in the midst of move-in craziness, but seeing the light at the end o' the tunnel.

Which brings me to my constant search. . . I started blogging in Feb of 2008 on another little blog called The Momo Dance (inspired by my first entrepreneurial venture momoFandango - which was to become a successful line of baby blankets. . . successful being the operative word and the past tense should give away the ending. . . it didn't last). But alas, it started me blogging which has been a nice creative outlet even through my [to date] failed attempts at designing my life and becoming a successful entrepreneur. And my very first blog post says it all. It's pre baby Doss, but other than that it is still quite accurate for the me of today. Only almost 5 years later. Atleast I know myself well, right? Even if I haven't quite got it figured out. . . and I do believe there is real hope in that. Stick with me here and will bring out some new fun projects, and keep you posted on the ever-changing landscape of our lives from home to place to work. . .and dig in together which is when it all really counts. . . but in the meantime, from past to present, there is Music in the Morning xx - m.m.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

music in the morning

boy, do I love a slow morning when i can just move at my own pace. it is so rare these days. . . city life brings the unavoidable scheduling of activities, because if you neglect to fit "it" into your schedule "it" won't happen. seeing your friends, visiting your family and your beautiful new niece, walking your precious dog, trying recipes, organizing your closet, writing down your deepest thoughts, moving through the morning hours in yoga pants, with music in the background, sipping a cup of coffee--if you don't slow down and clear your calendar for these things, I'm realizing you wake up and the days have slipped by in a blur without favorite things filling them. or worse, the favorite things have occurred, but the memory of them is fuzzy or just not there. scary.

this blog is my attempt to not only fit time in for my favorite things, but really contemplate them by writing them or showing them here. maybe it will allow for breathing and feeling life more than I have been recently. don't misunderstand; I have a fantastic life with my incomparable husband, Ben; my scruffy, loyal dog, Guthrie; the most wonderful dynamic friends in the world that include family and a new niece and new muse, Lola Ruth; a fledgling business called momoFandango, that will no doubt be the subject of this blog quite often. I'm lucky, I just want to take the time to remember that I am. . .

And my profile from back then. . . it still fits!: