Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Livin' on the Cusp

I don't know about y'all, but I often feel like I'm on the cusp.  Like I'm "just about there". . . "just about to do it", "just about to make it", "almost hitting my stride".  I think some of it is just plainly the human experience. . . the syndrome of wanting what you don't have.  I fight that as best I can, and feel that this is a little deeper. . . like there is something else I'm meant to do, give, create, explore, be a part of. . . you know?  That is what Smmidge is about - doing what you do and finding your way.  For me now, it's about devoting more to this. . . the stuff that I understand and am good at and not fighting that (living with style IS important!).  Anyway - there have been some recent, uh, changes at my d-a-y-j-o-b that, ehem, make me think. . . "what am I doing (50-60 hrs/wk)?" (I know - risky statement).

So, in lieu of actual action, I just drive and rock out. (Hmmm.  Maybe this a problem. . .?) This time, the soundtrack to this breakdown (no - breakthrough.  Thanks Jerry Maguire) is Josh Rouse Country Mouse, City House.  An oldie but goodie.  There are so many tracks that I adore (Hollywood Bass Player and Domesticated Lovers) and that and make me feel so normally abnormal (a lovey feeling I might add.).  But this one - Sweetie - well, it is right here with me in my dreamy dream.  That oh-I'm-almost-there-I-can-just-taste-the-ideal-situation-and-I'm-ready state of mind (been there?). . . imagining my own life of bicycles and music and life with my family. Now, I'm a total-semi-cynic now (thank you Life) - so the jigs up.  I get that it is never perfect. . . but I'm a searcher.  I think there is more to it than this drive-corp-work-drive-sleep-fly-sleep-work-oh!-hello child-hello husband-ok, bye!.  Thank you Marfa.

You may not be here with me -  a tried and true 30-something, semi-cynic, but still dreamer-searcher type in mild breakdown mode (no.  breakthrough!  I almost forgot) - but I don't think it matters where you are in your journey. . . this song and entire album is worth a rock-out ride in the wagon. . . Plus, some of you are probably nerd-lovers like me (I married one rad nerd). . . right?  Josh's glasses and short sleeve button-down against that stark black background and stripped down production are just too much.  Love it.

1 comment:

  1. Great post! I have an addition for your soundtrack:

    Where are the five of us going?


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